Can I just say, life is a bitch. I hate the curve balls its throws at poor little innocent people. I hate how life makes you question things you thought you already knew. I hate how life blurs the line between wrong and right until all you have is a smudge that you don't know what to do with. I hate how I prove people's sterotypes of women correct. I hate how much I care. How do you stop caring?
I know you all have no clue what I'm really talking about and I wont go into it, I just need a place to get this out.
Inner turmoil. How can months go by and the same thing happen again and again? How can I break free of this vicious cycle that holds me in its grip. I am so tired of causing pain. This is not the person I set out to become. And it freakin' hurts.
Friday, September 3, 2010
indecision
I never wanted to be one of those girl's who couldn't make up her mind. I never wanted to be wishy-washy and go back and forth never really choosing and making up excuses.
How do you choose between two things that are both so important to you.
I was posed a question yesterday. Close your eyes. Which of these things can you not see your life without?
That's a big question. A hard question. What if I don't want my life without either?
Too bad. I'm an adult. I can't keep playing around with these things. I have to make a choice.
The truth is, I have been making things way too complicated for myself. It's my own fault. When you have a taste of something you want, its hard to say no.
So all-in-all the decision wasn't actually the hard part. It's the aftermath of the decision that is the real challenge. But I'm determined to stand by it. I have to.
How do you choose between two things that are both so important to you.
I was posed a question yesterday. Close your eyes. Which of these things can you not see your life without?
That's a big question. A hard question. What if I don't want my life without either?
Too bad. I'm an adult. I can't keep playing around with these things. I have to make a choice.
The truth is, I have been making things way too complicated for myself. It's my own fault. When you have a taste of something you want, its hard to say no.
So all-in-all the decision wasn't actually the hard part. It's the aftermath of the decision that is the real challenge. But I'm determined to stand by it. I have to.
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